pre-wedding

A wedding is the joining of two families. A great way for a bride to start off her new family on the right foot is to get close-or closer-to her future mother-in-law. What better way than to get her involved in the pre-wedding festivities? Traditionally, the Mother-of-the-Groom doesn’t have a large role on the big day, but just because its tradition doesn’t mean you have to follow it. Get the MOG involved in the excitement right away by inviting her out with you and your mom; maybe to lunch or maybe just to coffee. You can start brainstorming ideas and its a great chance for the three of you to bond. Here are a few ways to consider getting your future MIL in on all the wedding planning action:

Ask her for help with major decisions

The bride usually relies on her mother for help with most of the wedding details. That doesn’t mean that she is the only one who can help choose the wedding gown, invitations or flowers. When you are ready to start tackling all of these appointments with your mother and maid of honor in tow, simply ask the groom’s mother to join you. Let her know that you value her opinion and she is part of the select few that you trust enough to take with you on these monumental occasions. Looking for the perfect dress is a special moment that your mom might not want to share. You can always reserve the first appointment for you to try on dresses with your mom solo and invite others to later appointments. This is also a great chance for the moms to discuss what they will wear to your wedding to make sure there are no surprises on the big day. I recently saw an episode of Say Yes to the Dress where the bride had lost both of her parents, so naturally she was missing her mother during the planning process. Her future mother-in-law was there to lend as much support as the bride wanted. It was an amazing bonding experience and the bride was happy that she shared these special moments with her.

Let her DIY

With everyone on Pinterest nowadays odds are your future MIL has seen some fabulous DIY decorations that would fit perfect with your centerpieces. And lucky you, she is great with a glue stick and a pair of scissors. Utilize her talents; it will make her happy to be contributing and you can point out how fabulous those table numbers look to all your guests while giving credit where credit is due. In fact, “You’re The Bride” has a client now whose future mother-in-law is going to address the invitation envelopes with her beautiful calligraphy. She is putting her own personal touch on the wedding and helping to cut costs for the bride and groom. Its a Win-Win.

Request help with seating charts and out of town guests

Organizing seating charts can be a huge headache for a bride and groom. Who better to help seat your groom’s family than his mom? She is most likely clued-in with in all the juicy family gossip and will know not to sit the rebellious cousin with the no-nonsense out-of-state uncle. Speaking of out of town guests, appoint the MOG as the point of contact for out of town guests with questions regarding travel and wedding itinerary information. This will keep her involved and alleviate a lot of phone calls to your groom.

Assist with the Rehearsal Dinner

Traditionally the rehearsal dinner is the responsibility of the groom’s parents. This is your chance to make planning a bit easier on your future in-laws. Find out what their budget is for the evening and give them a few suggestions on where they might host the rehearsal dinner. Ask your maid of honor to help your future mother-in-law with any decorating and provide her with a list of guests you want to be sure are invited.

Be sure to include the mother-son dance

The traditional mother-son dance is the perfect way for you and your groom to honor his mother on your wedding day. The three of you should get together to discuss song choices over dinner. Make a night of listening to her favorite songs. I don’t know about you, but my mom has a special song for me and my siblings and it would be perfect for a mother-son dance. Does your groom’s mom have a special song for him? Whether the song is a classic slow-jam or upbeat swing number, it will definitely create a lovely memory that none of you will ever forget.